Feb. 15 will mark 15 years of marriage for Carmen and Darren Tuddenham. With today being Valentine's Day, they are sharing the secret to their lasting marriage in the hopes other couples will follow suit.
In front of 75 family and friends, Carmen and Darren said their "I do's" in the Dominion Republic. Now Darren, a mechanic, and Carmen, a personal support worker, have tips and tricks for other couples on how to keep their relationship fresh.
"Darren and I met when we were in southern Ontario for school, more specifically, in Barrie, and we hit it off right away, to the point that we moved fast," explained Carmen. "We moved in together three months after we started dating. Darren brings me flowers at least once a week as a special way to tell me how much he appreciates everything I do for him, for our kids."
Carmen and Darren have three sons: Eric, 5; Jonathan, 2 and Max, 8 months. Carmen takes care of the children during the day and works in the evenings and Darren says he couldn't be more proud of his wife.
"This woman has been the hardest worker ever since I met her," he said. "She's always putting everyone before herself and this is why I like to surprise her with flowers - well, tulips if possible - to show her that even though we don't get to spend a lot of time together during the week that I still think about her."
While their work schedules keep them busy, Carmen said they try to keep their relationship fresh and exciting by being open and honest with each other about their fears, goals and changes they would like to see in the house.
"For us, and I'm pretty sure for a lot of people, communication is key," she said. "We write letters to each other once a week about what we've admired from the other throughout the week, whether it be patience with the children, doing errands or even just mopping the floor. We open them at the end of the month on our date night. We do date night once a month. We love going out to dinner. My mom usually babysits the kids so we can reconnect with each other."
Darren adds that reading those letters at the end of the month is also a confidence booster.
"Knowing what she loves about what I do for our children while she's at work is what makes me smile," he expressed. "I love reading those. I look forward to those. I just love her."
Carmen and Darren's tips on how to keep a relationship fresh include:
- always be thankful for what the other is doing
- always remind the other you love them
- always be encouraging
- keep mementos of your relationship, whether it's a note, a card or jewlery
- make time to go out as a couple
For Carmen, her favourite memory of their relationship is when she received the promise ring Darren gave her on their one year anniversary.
"It's a small white gold diamond ring and I wear it on my necklace everyday," she said, fiddling with the ring. "I'll never forget it."
As for Darren, his favourite memory is from when they bought their first home together.
"This, for me, meant the world because it kind of felt like this was it, there was no turning back now," he explained. "It's where we're building memories."
For their wedding anniversary, Darren said he has big plans for his wife that include flowers and other surprises he said she will have to wait for.
"I'm excited for Thursday to see her reaction," he said. "She's going to be so surprised."